Hitting Pause

Talk to nearly any teacher right now and they will tell you everything about our profession has gotten harder. Media outlets are reporting on the "burnout crisis" and the "teachers shortage" but struggle to pinpoint why. I personally struggle to articulate it concisely, but if you know me, you've heard my stories (venting) lately. I hope that taking time to put it into words, can be cathartic as I hit pause on an identity I have held for 13 years.

During the pandemic, I remember saying to colleagues, "this is the hardest year I've experienced." Suddenly becoming a virtual teacher and having to build a whole new toolbox, almost overnight, taught me to be ready for anything. But what I wasn't prepared for, was the years "after" the pandemic being insurmountably harder.

Students had to relearn the routines of going to school. Students had to learn how to show their faces again after hiding behind literal masks. Students had to relearn social norms and how to deal with puberty and heightened emotions in public again.

But so did adults.

I'm going to be brutally honest, and I'm going to go out on a limb and say that most leaving education will agree with this statement. I am not leaving because of the kids. The kids are why I've made it 13 years. The relationships I developed in the classroom are some of the most important in my life. And yes, it took our students time to get back into the routine post-pandemic, but they got there.

What seems to not have gotten there is school systems - which are run by adults.

Why are we still meeting online? Is lack of connection amongst our staff what is best for kids?

Why are we still focusing on things like hats, hoods or dress code? Is a focus on physical appearance what's best for teens?

Why are we still focusing on punitive punishment instead of restorative practices? Don't we want kids to learn about second chances and growth?

Why do we continue to protect staff members that don't protect and prioritize their students wellbeing?

Why are most schools focusing so wholly on academics and not also quality of life, mental health, and alternative pathways? The world has changed dramatically since the pandemic, but it seems to me schools still look the same.

As a special education teacher, I've been in countless meetings where we discuss the whole-child and doing what is best for kids, but it doesn't seem that (especially the US) public school systems match this deeply important value to teachers anymore.

This year I completed my 13th year of teaching. First, I was a co-teacher in a public school in South Korea and also worked at their "hagwon's" or English academies. I then supported students with emotional-behavior disorders at the most diverse public school in Wisconsin. Next, I helped grow an inclusion program at a private school in Quito, Ecuador. Over the next four years, I did the same in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. And most recently, I finished my second year working in a self-contained special education classroom at an immersion public school here in Milwaukee. These varied experiences have developed my identity as a teacher. An identity I have loved and shared with pride.

Teachers used to be some of the most prideful and hopeful professionals I encountered. These days, many educators sing a different tune. Rumi said “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” Teachers literally go to work everyday in hopes of changing the world through the children they teach. It's been an incredibly hard decision to decide to take care of myself instead and change who I've become working in the current school system. Instead of feeling defeated, frustrated, and at times heartbroken at the end of the work week, I'm looking to find hope again. Hitting pause on my time in the classroom will give me a new perspective. And I can't wait to see what it reveals.